Picture courtesy of Toonspew, posted with permissionNOTE: This is something I myself promised to do, so don't expect me to start doing this constantly (reviewing fan fics, that is). I'm not interested in reading fan fics, especially if they're lemons, so don't market them to me.
This is it, the fan fic review I've been hyping for some time. In case you didn't read my foreword about it, I suggest you do so before you check out this review as it will clear up my rather negative history with written fan fiction. You can check it out here.
I may use a bunch of TV Tropes terms in this review. Don't worry though, as I will link descriptions for them. I usually bold links that direct you to a page outside my blog but for the sake of readability (is that even a word?) I'm going to restrain myself from doing so with this review.
EDIT: okay, I used tons of them. Sorry :D
Introduction
I read a bunch of MLaaTR lemons during the summer and this fall and out of those fics these two came out as the best: My Life as a Von Neumann Device, written by Toonspew, and Alien Urges and Affections - When Misty Fell for Shell, written by Sadarax. I noticed that Sadarax's fic is still incomplete so let this be the review for "part 1". Both these fics avoided some of the most dreaded fan fic tropes, such as Mary Sues, blatant and egoistic Self-Insertion and IKEA Erotica. Instead, they feature astoundingly good writing and exploration of familiar and not-so-familiar MLaaTR characters, wildly expanding their personalities beyond what was seen in the show. Toonspew's fic is whopping 23 chapters long, plus it has an epilogue, while Sadarax has so far released 9 chapters.
MLaaVND and AUaA are like night and day. Toonspew's fic reminds me a lot of the original Dragonball series (not Z, the first one) in a way it offers a seamless story with lots of different people, places and elements while slowly but surely sliding towards a BIG ending. Sadarax's fic, however, seems to go for the mellow Slice of Life ambience instead of going all Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann and so far, as I've just read the first nine chapters, has stayed very close to the atmosphere of the original series. Both lemons also feature actual plots instead of stacking mindless sex scene after another. This is awesome.
In Tremorton, TV watches YOU!!
My Life as a Von Neumann Device begins with Jenny getting laughed at school because she apparently doesn't know what "having sex" means. Due to this being a lemon, there's naturally only one way to find out! After a terrific start with a strong scent of Original Flavour and well-written sex scenes with tangible erotic tension the fic then suddenly Genre Shifts into a Darker and Edgier direction. We'll get to see Jenny and her friends tangle with The Cluster in a very similar storyline to the MLaaTR TV movie Escape from Cluster Prime - which is notable, since this part of the fic was written before the movie (makes you wonder where the show's creators got their idea for the special in the first place)! From there it all calms down before a storm of huge proportions, which culminates in a massive race against time and a finishes with a violent battle - all of this reminded me of such classic movies like The Terminator and Aliens, which is a good thing. Alongside this plot we get to see the main teen characters learn stuff the hard way, learn to take responsibility of their actions and have lots of sex.
There is one theme that usually makes me stop reading a fic when I see it pop up: main character pregnancy. Yes, this one has it too but luckily it doesn't go all mushy about the subject and it actually works as a plot device, although I still can't understand why so many fan fic writers want to write about characters becoming parents at a rather young age. Good thing Toonspew didn't include the horrendously bad sex talk line "I want to have your baby", which is something you'll see in every goddamn incest comic these days. Sheesh!
Another thing that may irritate some readers is the way MLaaVND offers variety with its sex scenes, ranging from simple blowjobs to more specific fetishes. This wouldn't actually be a bad thing as Toonspew often writes the scenes very well, but there's a rape scene slightly before midway. I used to read lots of rape-themed Star Wars fics back in 2003 so I'm sort of sanitized of this fetish. Still, I think it's something you may want to avoid when writing a fic about a cartoon series. I really can't explain why but it just doesn't click. Besides, the scene itself here doesn't work so well in my opinion because the victim recovers from it in less than 24 hours and doesn't seem to be traumatized in any way. I'd say that this particular scene is definitely the weakest point of the fic, even if it gives us a FUCK YEAH AWESOME Vexus moment shortly afterwards.
Speaking of weaknesses, I later found out that I had actually gotten myself an alternative copy of one of the chapters. The version I had featured a short scene that has been left out because fanbase deemed it as Squick. I don't want to reveal too much but let's just say that it involves Nora Wakeman, her hands and another character's penis. I actually found the scene pretty interesting and even though Nora looks anything but sexy there's no doubt that Fern or someone else of his caliber could create some kickass fan art of this scene.
Another thing that may scare some readers (and granted, it definitely scared me too) is that MLaaVND is HUEG. Still, it's suprisingly easy to read and carries on fluently. There are many great moments to be found, especially in the humour department. My absolute favourite of the bunch has to be the scene where Vexus is searching for Jenny in a party and stumbles across a group of youngsters who mistake her for a dominatrix they had ordered. Hilarity Ensues. Besides the occasional funny moments there are also lots of Crowning Moments of Awesome due to the nature of the story. My favourite has to be the "go, genie go" moment which occurs in the final chapter, a scene which would cause audiences to erupt into wild cheering if something like this was done in a movie. Toonspew also challenges the reader to pick up various pop culture references but does this in a more subtle manner without turning the fic into an episode of Family Guy. He also makes connections to other animated series, although you don't have to worry about this one turning into Mega Crossover.
Overall, MLaaVND is an entertaining story even if it abandons the lighter atmosphere after the first four chapters. Toonspew writes good English, avoids typos and doesn't explain too much. I did notice few occasions where teenagers talk in a way too mature fashion, but that's about it. There are some continuity problems (or at least so it seems) due to the story being over half-way written by the time when the Cluster TV movie aired. Then again, you could think it as an Alternate Universe Fic that departs on a different timeline right before the end of the second season of MLaaTR. Great Scott!
If you're a fan of lemons and want your fic to have a gripping story with epic battles and a few surprises along the way, you should definitely check this one out. It may be a bit dark but the ending doesn't let you down. Fan artists interested of doing MLaaTR artwork should check out at least the beginning of the fic to see how Jenny's body works. Oh, and you're going to love Tiff after reading this story.
While Jenny's away...
Remember that third season episode Mist Opportunities? Yeah, I know. Everyone likes to pretend it's Discontinuity because it's a god-awful piece of shit. Luckily for us, Sadarax has offered us something to heal the wounds caused by this (unfortunately) official Character Derailment (or as he calls it, "Character Assassination"). To be accurate he started writing the story before the third season aired but that doesn't matter as he hasn't placed it in any precise timeline: it could happen before third season or after it. I like to think it's happening after the third season, which I guess it what Sadarax also suggests. Keep in mind that this isn't a Fix Fic but rather a good mix of a lemon and a Lower Deck Episode meant to flesh out the personalities of Sheldon and Misty, who's a Flat Character in the show... which is strange because I believe she's popular among fans. Perhaps the writers thought they didn't need to develop a character who started out as a Teen Titans reference? I don't know the answer to this but I do know that Misty could've (and should have) gotten a better final appearance.
Alien Urges and Affections takes place during a period where Jenny, Brad and Nora Wakeman are temporarily out of country showcasing the abilities of XJ-9 to friendly foreign governments. This is a perfect setup for a slice-of-life story which follows the daily lives of Misty and Sheldon. Misty has temporarily taken up Jenny's job in protecting Tremorton from The Cluster and other possible threats. Unfortunately, she is getting majorly bored due to her best friend being away for such a long time. This leads to her getting curious about Sheldon, so Misty decides to find out what the boy is like and give him a chance as a friend. The Crusts, always up to no good, notice this and start spying on them, hoping to get something juicy out of this strange situation.
I can't give you a complete opinion about this story since it is yet to be finished and it may go through a Genre Shift after the ninth chapter. So far the fic has done immense exploring of Misty and Sheldon's characters, developing them far beyond what was seen in the show. While I'm a Jenny/Sheldon shipper, I don't really mind pairing him with Misty. So far I've mostly come across situations that build up sexual tension between Misty and Sheldon, although there will no doubt be more actual sex in the following chapters.
For me the best part about the fic is how Sadarax is able to make Misty feel like an alien instead of "just" some girl with purple skin and superpowers. This is done by playing with words like "mating", "species", "egg-layer" and so on. It adds an exotic feel to her character without making it Squick. He also gives more background of her species and their reproduction and mating. This is done in the form of a sex scene, of course, which is great because that's exactly what you're supposed to find in a lemon and not some biology lecture. We also get to see some Humans Through Alien Eyes, which is a lot of fun.
I couldn't really find any defecting thing about the story or how the characters are handled. Sure, there's one thing that would probably count as Self-Insertion but it's mostly harmless. I also found the alien dojo flashback a bit cheesy but I guess that is because I don't find reading about/watching girls sucking on a dildo very interesting so it's just a matter of taste. The story's a good one, the characters are nicely written and the subplot with The Crusts and the occasional Cluster attack are good for keeping up tension in an otherwise peaceful story.
However, there is one thing that actually bothered me with the fic: the sheer amount of explanation. Words. Lots of them. It's not the same thing as writing bad text or having a poor grasp on grammar, on the contrary. Sadarax writes good text - there's just too much of it. There were occasional paragraphs that were mostly just metatext which the actual lemon doesn't really need there.
In short, AUaA is a top-notch fic which suffers from Walls of Text. This may cause trouble for those who aren't of the reader types but I suggest giving it a try, especially if you're craving for learning more about Misty and Sheldon. Besides, it's good medicine for those of you (i.e. almost everyone) who got pissed off at how Misty's character was handled at her final appearance in the show.
Which one's better?
I can't really decide which one I liked better. Overall, I enjoyed the variety of MLaaVND but I felt more home with the AUaA's setting as I'm not a fan of dark and epic tales. Then again, AUaA was occasionally laborious to read while MLaaVND was easy to digest. So yeah, I guess it's a tie, heh :P
Probably the best thing about both fics is how they defend Sheldon's quirks, explore the reasons for his obsession of Jenny and wreck allegations of him being solely a robophile. Sheldon was pretty much the Butt Monkey of the original show and occasionally it felt that even his friends treated him like crap.
Oh, and one notable thing about Sadarax's fic: Tuck isn't there. That's great. I really hate that little Scrappy.
Links to the fics!
My Life as a Teenage Von Neumann Device, by Toonspew
Alien Urges and Affections - When Misty Fell for Shell (chapters 1-9), by Sadarax
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